The Ultimate Choice

Above: an excerpt from my book, "Sweeter," (pages 20-21)

One chilly December afternoon in southern Germany, I conversed with a woman whose unwavering faith I deeply admired.

After recounting some of her own difficult life experiences, she concluded with, "I just hope all of the hard things I've been through make me sweeter rather than bitter."

The concept captivated me and I needed to flesh it out through writing. In doing so, as I drafted the words of the poem below, I began to understand how desperately my heart needed to make this choice.

That day, I decided that - I too - would fight for life's trials to make me sweeter. I didn't realize how many more trials would come my way in the years to follow, couldn't imagine how hard I'd cry, or fathom how many more poems I'd write while seeking to meet with God in the midst of agonizing pain.

Transparently speaking, choosing sweetness wasn't a one-time decision. Rather, "Sweeter" is a prayer I've had to come back to repeatedly over the years to remind my heart of the decision I made that chilly December afternoon.

In fact, it's been such a central theme in my life that I titled my first published poetry compilation after it. Throughout my compilation of honest prayers amidst brokenness and hardship, I press into the Lord's refining work and choose to host His presence.

✍🏽 Sweeter

Esther Yoder

Of walking through difficulty

I have discovered two ways

To either rot with bitterness

Or be rejuvenated with praise. 

Every man on this planet

Must live out his choice

Some will curse fiercely

While others rejoice. 

May I become more tender with time

May I become sweeter through strife

May I ever love You more fully, 

May I more willingly surrender my life. 

May the rough edges soften

May the bitterness cease

May tumult only drive me

Into Your tremendous peace. 

May disappointment not destroy me

May sadness steal no more 

May I unashamedly come to You

Broken, wounded, sick, and sore. 

May I meet with You in each hardship

That to me gets assigned 

May I allow You my dross to consume 

May the heat be effective my gold to refine. 

Understanding the artwork: For each of the poems in my book, "Sweeter," Pauliina Skarr intentionally designed accompanying artwork. Here's a glimpse into some of what went into this particular design.

• The soft color palette which represents the desired softness of my heart.

• The scribbled lines that you assume will result in rough, jagged edges take on a surprisingly rounded shape instead.

• Although the edges of the colored splotches are imperfect in shape, they are soft nonetheless, implying both humility and malleability.

• The use of gold draws upon the imagery of refinement, like gold in a refining fire.

Be sure to return for next week's entry where we'll be stepping directly into that fire. Come ready for a deeply personal example of what the fire looked like on my journey.

Interact: Set a timer for one minute in which you quietly admire the artwork below and ask yourself: "What would it look like for me to choose sweetness amidst my current difficulty?"